


Conviction

by ThereIsNoTragedyInThat



Series: Somewhere Between Kansas and the Open Road [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drabble, Episode: s13e01 Lost and Found, Found Family, Gen, Hurt Dean Winchester, Missing Scene, Protective Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester is Jack Kline's Parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23804185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat/pseuds/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat
Summary: Sam follows the footsteps not sure what he was expecting to find...it certainly wasn't a kid that reminded him so much of himself.SPN Shut Down Bingo Fill: Lost and Found 13.01
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Series: Somewhere Between Kansas and the Open Road [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1698406
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	Conviction

Sam’s heart beat a rapid rhythm in his chest, his legs felt weak as a sense of loss moved through him in a painful wave, the same yet completely and utterly different to all the times he had felt it before. He felt like he couldn’t fucking breath, couldn’t make his lungs inhale the air without tasting a bitter, decaying thing on his tongue.

Mom.

Castiel.

It wasn’t supposed to be them. If anyone, it was supposed to be him, maybe Dean, but not them. Especially not her. On the ground in front of them was Cas’s body, eyes closed, unmoving, taken in a flash of light at Lucifer’s hand. And mom. Not even that much, she was gone, gone with him into a place they didn’t even know how to start getting to. A rift that was opened by an impossibility, by Lucifer’s son.

Lucifer’s son.

Sam’s head snapped up and toward the house. Now wasn’t the time to give into grief, there was always time for that later, always more bodies to burn and more moments to break when privacy and silence was easily attained. Dean hadn’t moved, where he kneeled by Castiel’s body and Sam didn’t see any other threats nearby, was confident that leaving Dean here would be alright, that his brother would be alright physically even if he was being torn apart yet again, by two losses that he might not come back from.

Sam couldn’t do that now. Not yet. Not while there was still a chance to change things. One thing at a time. Lucifer’s son first, then Mary, then Dean, then Castiel. This couldn’t be the end, they had fought too long and too hard for them to end like this, after all, they had come back from so much worse.

Maybe hope was stupid at a time like this. Maybe it didn’t matter because hope was all Sam really had now and he’d always been the one to carry it for the both of them, for him and Dean, because the weight was too heavy for his brother. Sam would fix this, or he would die trying. With that thought he spared his brother one last look before turning toward the dark house.

Sam already knew Kelly was dead. Had known just by looking at her that this would not end well, that this would take her life in the end, but it was one she had given willingly, for her son to live. Sam didn’t begrudge her that, not even for the devil’s son because that had been him…more than once and he liked to think he had learned from it, from being the thing someone was willing to sacrifice for despite all the signs pointing to him not being worth it.

Now was not the time to think about Dean. Not yet. One thing at a time, one foot in front of the other.

Ironic considering Sam was now following footsteps of the one that might save them all or kill him right there. He hoped not, he knew Dean couldn’t take another loss, couldn’t even imagine what it would do to him, didn’t want to think about that.

They went to the nursery. Sam paused just outside the door; he already knew he wouldn’t be dealing with a child. At least not physically, but for the first time he considered what this child might already know, that he had left his mother’s body only to find her dead and silent in an empty house. Terrifying.

Despite himself and the paranoia that came with anything even remotely related to Lucifer, Sam felt an ache in his heart for the child. He was alone and dropped into a world that mostly wanted him dead and among death and violence that he was probably unprepared for.

Or Sam could be completely wrong.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the nursery, stared as familiar orange eyes met his and the young man curled on the floor whispered painfully, “father?”

Words left him as Sam came face to face with Lucifer’s child. Time seemed to slow around him as he stood in that room and a heavy conviction settled in his chest without him fully realizing it. The eyes, it was because of the eyes. They were familiar yet completely and utterly different in every way that mattered.

Sam remembered orange eyes blazing with rage and hellfire. Remembered them boring into his own as his stomach was pried apart and his organs gripped and pulled from his body one by one. He remembered whispered promises and coaxing eyes swearing nothing would hurt him ever again if he’d just say yes and he remembered yellow eyes from so many years ago that made him cold with dread and the fact of the matter was…Sam knew evil.

This child wasn’t evil.

His eyes shone brilliant hues of orange that were filled with warmth and vulnerability. They were afraid and nervous and desperate for someone to reassure him that everything would be alright, that he hadn’t been abandoned here alone.

The hope that had stood shakily on Sam’s shoulders, soared.

They could save Mary; the kid had opened the rift once he could certainly do it again. All he needed was a bit of guidance. Sam could feel that conviction strengthen and solidify, because not only could he save their mom but something about this felt like a chance at redemption, all he had to do was help someone that reminded him so painfully of himself.

Telling himself not to be afraid and to reach out to the kid, Sam didn’t hear his brother’s footsteps pounding up the stairs or down the hallway, all his attention on this kid who had been touted as the Anti-Christ but Sam already knew would become family, would save them all and who knew what else. Anything was possible.

Dean came up by his side and out of the corner of his eye Sam saw him reach into waist band and without thinking Sam surged forward to stop him, but he was too late. The sound of his gun going off felt like the axe of the executioner because this was their chance and it was gone…except it wasn’t.

Fear settled into Sam’s stomach as the kid screamed…but the conviction remained unshaken.


End file.
